With only one day to go until my gastric bypass operation, I thought I’d share how I’m feeling so I have written this blog post, Gastric Bypass A Life Changing And Scary Time.

Gastric bypass

I’m looking forward to the Liver Shrinking Diet being over. It’s been really hard. I remember when I’d done 2 weeks and was so over it. Only one day left and the hospital went and cancelled my operation. I felt devastated, all my hard work for nothing and all our plans needing to be rearranged. I had a cry and then picked myself up and got on with things. Now i’ve been on this diet 4 weeks and I simply cant wait to get off it.

Im Scared. Who would not be scared when going for a major and life changing operation. I have faith everything will be okay and I believe all will go smoothly. However I’m scared of the pain afterwards. I remember the pain when I had my baby and have never had keyhole surgery before and I’ve been told it will hurt especially on the left hand side where a large staple tool will have to go through all the layers of flesh and muscle. I talked to the surgeon and he said it will be pretty bad for a week or so and then get better.

I’m a little scared about the gas pain I will have. When you are operated on in the abdomen area, the area is filled with gas to make it easy for the surgeon to do what is needed. Then once the eight holes are sewn up, the gas has to escape. This can cause severe pain in the abdominal area and in the shoulder area. I’m not looking forward to that.

I’m going to miss my little girl while I’m gone but I know she will be in good hands. My hubby is not very well at the minute so Sylvia will be staying with friends for a few days to make things easier for John. Then he can come and visit me and do what he needs to do without too much stress. It’s only a week or so and at the end of the day one of the huge benefits of this operation will be reduced medication and hopefully better health so i have have more quality time with Sylvia. I’m doing it for me but also i’m doing this for my daughter so I can do more with her as she grows.

Well, I am looking forward to losing more weight. Most people lose between one and two stone when they do the liver shrinking diet. Not me! I think this is because my muscles are weak and i’m on growth hormone which is rebuilding my muscles. So although I can physically see weight loss, I’ve not lost very much on the scales. I’m down 7 lbs since the start of January.

I’m looking forward to marking off my weight loss each week on the chart and setting some targets and rewards to go with those achievements. i’m really looking forward to getting rid of the fat moon shape face which I got from the steroids. It really upsets me at times and is not me. I’m looking forward to dropping dress sizes and being able to feel happy with the way I look.

I have always felt happy around a size 14-16 and although my perfect BMI might be a size 10, my goal is to get down to 14 stone and a size 16-14. Any further than this is a bonus. With every stone I lose I plan to treat myself to a new item of clothing.

I’m looking forward to having more space in the bed as i get smaller, to not having to carry so much weight around when I’m really unwell and unable to walk far. I’m looking forward to getting well enough in the future to cook my own meals more often and to hopefully go swimming one day and walking once more. It will take a long time but may happen.

I’m looking froward to fitting in a seat more comfortably, walking down an isle without getting in everyone’s way, reducing my chest size and related back pain and my husband being able to lift me up. (This is something he has never done). You know the way a hubby lifts up his wife and carry’s her through the door into the house. I look forward to the positive comments from my child, rather than the “mum i love you even though your fat”.

I’m looking forward to reducing my size and curbing off diabetes, cutting down my steroid intake for Adrenal Insufficiency and having a better chance for the hydrocortisone pump. People should be treated the same by the NHS, it should not matter how big you are, but being overweight means I use more medication and the NHS don’t want to give you the adrenal Pump when your going to use twice as much medication as someone else. Losing weight will give me a better chance on the NHS or as a private patient paying for medication myself. Having this operation will cut in half the amount of steroids I’d need on the adrenal pump.

Last but not least, I’m looking forward to feeling myself again. For the past few years, I have felt miserable with my size. I know being on steroids and too ill to exercise has contributed to my weight issues. I worked hard and in 18 months I lost 30 pounds but then I could not go any further. They say beauty does not depend on weight but I don’t feel beautiful this big. I feel disgusting and upset and desperate to be normal.

I’ve had trolls and nasty comments. On the street people had driven past and shouted out fatty at me. When I announced my operation online I had nasty and jealous comments but I’m not going to listen to that nonsense. I shall do what I have to do for me and my family. I will share my journey because this might just help or inspire someone else.

Wish me luck and I’ll see you all on the Losers Bench,